Passing the Torch

There is a question that I ask my mother all the time: "Who are YOU and what have you done with my mother?!" This question usually follows some sort of behavior that was SO uncharacteristic of her in my youth (or the mother that I REMEMBER from my youth, anyway. LOL!). I swear, the woman had grandchildren, and now I don't even know who she IS anymore! ;) A kinder, gentler version of my dear mother has apparently body-snatched the whip-cracking, no-nonsense, rule enforcing, corporal punisher of yesteryear and left us with someone who reminds me more of, well, MY grandmother. It's funny how the birth of a grandchild does that to a person. :)

It's also funny how a fairly liberal, free-spirited co-ed, who has more than once put a bindi on her forehead, chanted in foreign tongues, contemplated the Wiccan lifestyle (I could go on, but I think you get the point) has now turned into... Yep. You guessed it: MY MOTHER. If anyone from my twenties were to meet me on the street right now, I'm SURE they would ask me the same question I ask my mom. And like my mom, I would be a little embarrassed as they checked off the characteristics that (THANKFULLY) no longer resemble the person I am today.

I guess the old saying is true: Having kids really does change things. That and the fact that I married a Republican. LOL! What that polo shirt wearing, pick-up truck driving, golf loving, SEC grad saw in this hippie wanna-be.... I may never know. Change is good, though. He now wears Birkenstocks and I vote Conservative, and as far as I know, Hell hasn't begun to freeze over just yet. :)

But seriously, I think that Americans are too busy trying to hang on to any semblance of their youth. Unlike the Native Americans who honor their elders, our culture idolizes the young. I'm coming to realize that beauty is not everything. Everyone is beautiful when they're 18. STUPID, but beautiful. Cocky, but beautiful. RECKLESS, but beautiful. Shortsighted, indulgent, narcissistic, immature.... but beautiful. As a person who always looked younger than I was, I couldn't WAIT to turn 30. I couldn't WAIT to be taken seriously. And as forty approaches... it's looking better and better all the time.

When I'm a grandma like my mom, I'll probably look back on my parenting skills and shudder... much the same way I do when I think about the brief period I didn't shave my legs or my underarms. And I'll probably laugh like I did right now. So I'm passing my torch to all the youngsters out there trying to find their way. I've got beds to make and dinner to prepare, and from looking at my mom and grandmother... some pretty big shoes to fill. :) I'll be happy to take their torch, and as much as I would like to set my past afire with it, I know it's made me who I am today. Exactly HOW is still unclear, unless magic was involved. :) And knowing my past, that's not entirely impossible.... (insert evil laugh here!)

Crazy May

No, it's not a real person.... it describes the time of year that inevitably finds me in a tizzy. Does anybody else out there go absolutley NUTS this time of year? It beats out the Christmas season around here, hands down. And I'm afraid my mental state is starting to show the wear with my physical state following close behind.

There is always an IEP meeting to attend, the end of the year teacher appreciation stuff (projects to be completed as well as parties to plan and buy for), let's add dress rehearsal and recital for dance class, Mother's Day, Anna's birthday, our annual Memorial Day beach trip, and Friday night Miracle League softball games. Aye!

To complicate matters, my grandfather who has lung cancer is not doing well and we are making every attempt to travel to see him as often as we can. The time is near, we've been told, so emotionally we are as whupped as we are physically. Aye-yie-yie!

So I HAVE taken it upon myself to step back from many of the duties that I have committed myself to for sanity's sake. This is UBER hard for me because I like to be a woman of my word (and I'm a control freak! LOL!) but something has to give and I can't be every woman... tho Chaka Kahn told me differently. :) I do hope to pick the blogging back up as it is so very cathartic for me. Please keep my family in your prayers and if you see a wooly-booger whirling around like the Tazmanian Devil, that'll just be me... trying to make it to June the first!!!

It's Only A Matter of Time

Today I am hanging in with my Sugarplum as she has seized herself into oblivion. One (if maybe the ONLY) perks to these days spent in the bed is the chance to watch all the awful daytime television that the law will allow. While Anna naps, I flip through the channels trying my best to find something, ANYTHING, that I can tolerate. Well, today I hit the jackpot.

I happened upon the Wendy Williams Show and I LOVE IT! That girl is so funny, and the best part, she got caught being photographed wearing a FANNY PACK and she is SO not apologizing for it. Gotta love a woman who will defend her fanny pack, right?

I, too, am the owner of a fanny pack (my sister will attest to this AND will bust my chops to boot if and when she remembers to). However, these days I have chosen to limit my fanny pack wearing to the days I have a yard sale ONLY (for cash holding purposes) for fear of being publicly humiliated by friends and family. But I must admit... I LOVE THE FANNY PACK! And what's not to love? All your possession's, close to you, safely zipped away, while your hands and arms are free to shop, walk, chase your kids, WHATEVER! Wendy's arguments for the fanny pack were similar and then she had photos of other celebs wearing THEIRS: Drew Barrymore, Donna Karan, Karinna (from DWTS), and Kanye West's freaky girlfriend. Okay, so much for the last one, but you have to admit, the first three are pretty credible, right?! Now sure, these celebs' packs are probably "designer," not at all like my purple, tree-hugger one, but a girl can only hope that today's the day that the fanny pack will make it's resurgence back into mainstream fashion. If not today, I'm holding out for tomorrow. It's only a matter of time... Until then, I'll be watching Wendy. :)

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It's that time again, folks. It's beginning to look a lot like... fall! Still pretty balmy here in the southern United States, but the weather IS changing and for many folks, today marked the beginning of college football!! Truth be told, I am not a huge football fan. As a matter of fact, as of today... I am SO over it already! This news is not a shock to anyone who knows me, including my husband, who is an SEC grad and a fairly avid football enthusiast. We are just thankful for more than one TV in the house!

Fall is my favorite time of the year. I love the colors, the weather... EVERYTHING! So many fun memories from childhood: starting back to school, Fall Festivals, Homecoming games... ahh the joy. I still love pumpkins and scarecrows and hot apple cider. Hay rides and bonfires and deciding what to wear for Halloween...I could go on and on. There's just nothin' about autumn that I don't like.

And with the kids back in school I have lots of ideas and projects planned for the house (and lots of decorating for the holidays!). I'm hoping to post some pics as things progress, so stay tuned for that! I'm also looking forward to our rally day for Sunday School that starts around this time of the year. And somewhere in all of that I'm going to TRY to squeeze in some sewing... as those projects are mounting almost daily. :)

So here's to the next few months of wonderful transformations... within us and around us! And on that note, I'll wrap it up with a fond adieu, southern style: HAPPY FALL, Y'ALL!!

A "Sign" of Laziness

I have got to get this off my chest. If I have ONE pet peeve, this is it and it almost makes me violent: I abhor people that use handicap placards as an excuse for their laziness. Now I know we aren't supposed to hate people, so let me rephrase that to say I detest their actions. And that's putting it mildly.

Because we are placard holders due to Anna's handicaps, I realize that I am extra sensitive in this area. But I see it ALL the time. Not long ago I engaged in a riveting discussion on Facebook with a gentleman who felt he must bring to my attention that by all appearances, he may not look like he needed the assistance of one of those little scooters available in most of the chain stores, but in fact he did. Listen, I'm fully aware that I'm not the final judge on who should and should not ride on said scooters, or who should or should not be given access to handicap parking placards. I can only tell you from experience how extremely frustrating it is to not be able to find a handicap parking space available for my daughter (who cannot walk unassisted for long distances without the help of a leg brace or a stroller/wheelchair) when there are people I have seen with NO APPARENT HANDICAP AT ALL HOGGING ALL THE SPACES!!!!!


Notice I said "no apparent handicap." Because of Anna, I am aware that everything is not as it appears, as the aforementioned Facebook person argued. I have spent time in the company of people I have met for the first time who did not realize at first that Anna is handicapped. I, myself, have wondered if others might be judging me as I lift my 48 pound 8 year old into a modified stroller and hang our card from the rear-view mirror. After what I've witnessed, especially recently, I will never again feel guilty about using those parking spaces again.


On a recent trip to K-Mart, I was thrilled that I found a handicapped parking space so close to the front. Score! I noticed as I was getting Anna's stroller put together that this car in the space in front of us was having trouble parking. "Poor thing," I thought. Yeah, poor thing indeed when I was SHOCKED to see a female in her twenties, smoking a cigarette, parking her car and putting up her handicapped placard WITH NO SHAME!! I always try to make eye contact with such individuals to see if they might be embarrassed in the least for their actions. This particular woman would not look at me.


On the way out I noticed a lady, who appeared to be in her 40's, with her two daughters and their buggy full of necessities for school. They proceeded to load their truck which also happened to be in a handicapped space. I noticed them because the mom was yelling and making a huge fuss at the girls just as I had seen her do inside the store. From what I saw inside the store, or outside for that matter, NONE OF THEM NEEDED A HANDICAP PARKING SPACE! Apparently their only handicap was their inability to act civilized in a public place.


So as I was breaking down Anna's stroller, I noticed a man and his wife exiting the store. I recognized them because I had seen them earlier inside when I caught the husband "looking" at Anna. I could write a whole post on this subject alone, but at the time, I thought I'd let him get an eye full and take as long as he needed to mentally digest what a handicapped child looks like. Anyway, the couple appeared to be in their 50's and again... I saw them walk all over K-Mart staring at my child, with no difficulty whatsoever. I don't see how having to walk two more yards to the non-handicapped space beside them would have been a problem. But I'll leave that to them and their primary health care physician.

Not long ago I saw a lady in the Wal-Mart parking lot who I am quite familiar with. She is the guardian of a child with cerebral palsy that I know well. This particular day I was alone so I was enjoying the last of a song I liked on the radio and finishing up my coffee before heading in to do some shopping. I saw this lady getting out of her car and I got excited because I thought I was going to get to say hello to the little girl I'm so fond of. After she pulled into the handicapped space and put her card up, she did get a child out, but it was the normally developing brother of the little girl with CP. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She was one of "us," I thought, taking advantage of the card she carried, just to get closer to the front door. I was stunned.

After expressing such disdain to my relatives, my mother-in-law hit me with a doozie. She told me that a lady from her church who received a placard when she had broken her leg still uses her card to this day... long after her leg is healed... to get a better parking spot at CHURCH! Was I hearing correctly? What is wrong with people? On a different note, this may explain how all these people are getting these placards in the first place.

If you have a broken, leg, foot, etc., I believe you MORE than qualify for a placard. But what about an expiration date that doesn't last 2-3 years like the rest of us? Perhaps there should be more regulation where these placards are concerned... maybe even "temporary" ones in a different color with a closer expiration date. I cannot swallow the fact that there could be doctors giving out prescriptions for these cards on a whim. I certainly hope not.

One final note: I have NEVER used our card without Anna being present. Not even in the torrential rain, when no one was around who would notice. All I have to do is think about the person who can't just jump out of their car and run to the front entrance as I and so many others who posses handicap placards can. Here's hoping that those who use their placards without warrant will always be able to make that run. It's awful not to at least have the choice.

Be Encouraged- Part Two

I guess you already know that it's taken me a little while to get back to the blogging world. What was supposed to take me a day has turned into almost a week since our family has gotten some really upsetting news. Last week my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer (it appears to be in his lungs and lymph nodes). He went yesterday for a biopsy and is going to the doctor today for his prognosis. I have been told it doesn't look promising.

I guess all that stuff about encouragement was not so much meant for you as it was for me. Funny how God works sometimes. Regardless, I'm so pleased to know that he cares enough about me to reach out and give me the things he knows I need, or will need, as the case may be. As promised, here is the article by Walter Albrittton who is a family member of a church friend, as well as a retired minister. It was written for the Opelika-Auburn News on July 19, 2009. I hope you enjoy it and get as much encouragement from it as I did.

The Journey May Be Hard But Encouragement Helps Us Endure

The recent serious illness of my wife caused me to take a fresh look at my priorities. Such wake-up calls are always helpful. Human nature being what it is we all tend to lose focus on what really matters. The jarring prospect of losing someone you love dearly can clear the cobwebs from your brain.

Putting first things first is never easy. But it is possible. And it is necessary if we are to live well. Now and then we must stop the merry-go-round, look in the mirror, and take an honest look at how we are living. Are the choices we are making everyday helping us to make the most of our brief span of life?

Trouble reminds us that the journey of life can be long and hard. None of us is immune from suffering. Our personal problems may be difficult but we quickly discover that others are hurting too. To be human is to suffer.

Life is hard. But it is also a mixture of good and bad. There is pain and there is pleasure. We may be laughing one day and crying the next. As we grow up we learn to accept the bitter with the sweet, the rain with the sunshine. Reasonably mature people find a way to handle this mixture. Otherwise they become cynical, allowing bad stuff to rob them of their joy.

Maturity does not come easily. It comes gradually, usually the result of a lifelong search. None of us reaches it without help. The help we all need is that strange thing we call encouragement. It is hard to describe but when you receive it, you know that you have been given something more valuable than money.

Oddly, the only people who can offer us encouragement are fellow struglers, friends who step outside their own troubles long enough to come alongside us and cheer us up. So often the people who come to comfort us when we are hurting are themselves in pain. The fact that they do not speak of their own pain makes their comfort all the more wonderful.

Encouragement is like oxygen; we will die without it. People do not die from loneliness; they die from lack of encouragement. Everybody needs somebody who will encourage them to persevere and not give up. But we soon learn that it is foolish to expect encouragement from everyone. Those who become cynical are simply unable to encourage others.

All of us have some people in our lives who are examiners rather than encouragers. Examiners constantly evaluate us. They enjoy pointing out what is wrong with us. Examiners try to convince us we are inadequate and that we will never make it no matter how hard we try.

Encouragers offer us affirmation instead of criticism. They are our cheerleaders. They give us hope that "we can do it." Their praise inspires us to believe in ourselves and to reach for the best that we can be. And it is good news that every person has the potential to be an encourager to some fellow struggler. Each of us can choose to live as an examiner or an encourager.

During recent days of soul-searching many encouragers have come alongside us with hope and comfort. They have laughed with us, hugged us, prayed for us, and made us feel loved. They have generously blessed us with food and flowers. They have put their own pain aside long enough to care for us. And they have made a profound difference. We have been cheered far beyond our deserving. Love does indeed ease one's pain.

Once more Dean and I have been reminded that though the journey home is sometimes long and hard, the loving encouragement of friends helps us endure. And what is true for us is true for others. As strength returns, we must be up and doing the things that matter most. As long as we have breath, we too can make the hard journey of others more bearable by offering the precious gift of encouragement. Doing so will help us to put first things first.

Be Encouraged- Part One

Many of you will remember the story I shared a while back about the nurse at Children's Hospital who gave me a little packet of inspirational poems and such, one of them being "No Excuses," that I posted here a couple of months ago. Well, today I'm going to share with you another little gem she gave to me and I think it's SO fitting because I feel that God is impressing on me to speak about encouragement. Just yesterday, a dear sweet lady from our church e-mailed me an article from a relative of hers on the subject as well. I plan to post his article tomorrow as the second part of "Be Encouraged."

I think so many of us get down and out because we forget to be thankful for all the blessings that's been bestowed upon us. Sure it's easier to focus on the negative because usually that's what is requiring our immediate attention. And let's face it...really bad things happen in life: sickness, unemployment, divorce, and death. It may be that your particular issue is not as severe, but I guess that would depend on what side of the fence you're standing on. Dealing with a wayward child, the loss of a friendship, or this unstable economy can consume us with all that's "wrong" in the world and really get the best of us. Choosing to focus on the positive may seem trite and a little too "Pollyanna" for you at first. I mean, how can you possibly think about something positive when (insert catastrophe here) is consuming you...mind, body, and soul?! Well, it's simple. It's a choice.

When I get really down and out and need a spiritual "kick in the pants," I resort to doing what I do best: I make a list. You may be scoffing, but it really works. Go get a pen and a piece of paper. Right now. I'll wait. :) Okay, now write down EVERY SINGLE THING THAT IS GOOD IN YOUR LIFE. What are you thankful for? Write it down. I'm talking about the little things too. And don't cop out on me with the "I don't have anything" garbage. What about that computer you're looking at? Pretty nice to have, right? And how about that central air that is so wonderful this time of year? What about that one friend who always seems to have time to give you when you really need to talk? And let's not forget Jesus, who gave us the ultimate sacrifice and continues to give to us even when we don't deserve it. The bible says that every good and perfect gift comes from above (emphasis mine). So EVERY thing that is good and right in your life... God has given it to you as a gift. Isn't that just amazing when you think about it?

That's why I think this little poem is so fitting. ALL of us can and should be thankful to God for filling our our cups to overflowing with the wonderful things he has chosen to give us. Now lets choose to be thankful and meditate on these things. It won't make "said catastrophe" go away, but by changing your focus, you can change your attitude... to gratitude.

I'm Drinking From My Saucer

I've never made a fortune
And it's probably too late now
But I don't worry about that much
I'm happy anyhow

And as I go along life's way
I'm reaping better than I sowed
I'm drinking from my saucer
'Cause my cup has overflowed

Haven't got a lot of riches
And sometimes the going's tough
But I've got loved ones all around me
And that makes me rich enough

I thank God for his blessings
And the mercies He's bestowed
I'm drinking from my saucer
'Cause my cup has overflowed

I remember times when things went wrong
My faith wore somewhat thin
But all at once the dark clouds broke
And the sun peeped through again

So Lord, help me not to gripe
About the tough roads I have hoed
I'm drinking from my saucer
'Cause my cup has overflowed

If God gives me strength and courage
When the way grows steep and rough
I'll not ask for other blessings
I'm already blessed enough

And may I never be too busy
To help others bear their load
Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer
'Cause my cup has overflowed