Thursday, July 14, 2011
I've been in a funk lately... and not the "George Clinton and the Funkadelic" kind. ;) Most times, a somber mood is a catalyst for some righteous ramblings, but for whatever reason, I've become stricken with writers block. It's probably a good thing, actually. A couple of things I'm dealing with right now might be better resolved through reflection, contemplation, and prayer rather than the angry rantings of a lunatic! LOL! Although I realize the rantings are a lot more fun to read...
So, taking the high road (my little legs are so tired!), I've decided to choose a song today that I actually sing as a prayer. Inevitably, it moves me to tears every time I do. Cuz here's the deal: (Number 1) I'm a mess. I fail miserably as a wife, mother, friend, Christian, etc., etc., (we ALL do) because we are imperfect human beings. (And number 2) Life is HARD, folks. And quite unfair. Don't even try to trick yourself for one solitary second that it's not. Having a positive attitude is only going to take you so far. You can still do all the right things and have the rug swept right out from under you without warning. Why? I don't even have a clue.
But one thing I do know is having a relationship with God makes a difference while living in this broken, temporal, human existence. I stumble, but I don't fall. By God's grace and mercy I have a supernatural strength to endure the storms that come. I am certain that if it weren't for the plan that he has for my life, and my choice to accept it, that the circumstances of my 39 years on this planet would have consumed me physically, mentally, and emotionally and brought me to my ruin. Instead I have hope:
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels or demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:28, 37
So as you listen to a little music therapy today by Heather Williams, ask God to come to where you are. He's just waiting for the invitation. "On my knees here I fall, in spite of it all... Hallelujah! And though it seems hard, I'm still trusting you, Lord... Hallelujah!" Hallelujah, indeed.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
This song always makes me think of college... only because I used to stalk this band that covered this song! LOL! But I've chosen it today as my music therapy because there are some pretty big changes going on around here. Ahh... being an adult is SO fun.
First of all, we have decided to put the brakes on the remainder of all the testing Anna needs to qualify for brain surgery. Our last hospital stay was only slightly less than horrendous and Chuck and I feel that she just needs a break from the poking and prodding. She doesn't understand how all of this medical stuff might help her in the future, she just knows that it's ZERO fun. And that's putting it mildly. Right now she is doing well with the last medicine change; and though it's probable she will fail it eventually (as she has with the rest), right now she's doing well.
We have weighed our pros and cons and feel that right now, doing what we're doing is working for her and the rest of our family. We are not ruling surgery out completely in the future, we are simply putting the brakes on for a while. I guess you could say we are just "shifting gears" as far as surgery goes and are going to enjoy the ride for a while. It's summer, after all. ;)
The other big change looming is that, as of this week, Chuck will be stepping down as plant manager and returning to his previous job as shipping manager. This has floored a lot of people, but rest assured, it was a decision we BOTH made to better our family. There comes a time in everybody's life when you realize what's important and what's not. Money, though helpful, is not always the most essential part of what makes a happy home run smoothly. Status and power will not make the days I spend in bed with my seizing child any easier. Having a husband who is available (mentally and physically) will benefit ALL of us. I'm proud of the fact that we are not strapped financially or "house poor" so that we can make a decision like this and not regret a single second of it. We still have debt, but so much less than we used to thanks to the wonderful opportunity of him being plant manager for almost two years.
Now, thank God, we are no longer a slave to the workplace. His job will once again return to something that he does instead of being who he is. I'm looking at it as a wonderful opportunity to regroup as a family and I couldn't be happier! Thanks be to God for his mercy in this situation as it's literally been an answer to prayer. The stars just aligned perfectly to open up his previous job and to have his decision approved by the "higher-ups." They could have blocked him from doing it, but understand what we deal with at home and support him fully. How awesome is that? Sometimes life is so good. Now is one of those times!
A lot of people do not like change. Sure, it can be scary, but a rut is a rut. And just because your rut has become your "normal" doesn't make it any less of a rut. Just because everybody else thinks that living in a rut is the only way to live, doesn't mean you have to. Life is too short to live anything other than the best life you can. Start today to make the changes necessary for yourself and your family. What do you have to lose? The rut? Good riddance!